


Holding On (and Letting Go)

by sarishinohara



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alive!Tadashi, Angst, Because I can, Hurt/Comfort, burned!Tadashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 14:15:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3450176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarishinohara/pseuds/sarishinohara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tadashi Hamada didn't die that fateful night. In which Hiro Hamada pries his brother's burned body off from the clutches of a fiery death. In which both brothers struggle through the aftermath of a split-second, life-altering decision.</p><p>(AU where the building exploded much, much later)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding On (and Letting Go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two brothers suffer two different kinds of hurt amidst vengeful flames.

“Tadashi, no!”

Hiro grabbed onto Tadashi’s arm, bony fingers clawing him to a halting stop. Tadashi turned around to face Hiro because _Callaghan is still inside he’s going to die he’s going to die someone has to—_

In a span of a look and two spluttered heartbeats, Tadashi’s resolve nearly crumbled as his brother’s face contorted into one of sheer distress and dread, of fear and terror. His eyes, dark brown eerily lit by the reflections of dancing flames, were pleading, _begging_ for him to _stay it’s dangerous don’t go!_

_(“Dashi,” Hiro cried out, voice thick and sore, fat drops of tears welling up on his glassy eyes. “Tada-nii…”)_

Tadashi’s brotherly instinct immediately kicked in, _screaming_ at himself to get Hiro the fuck away from here _right now this instant_ debris may fall on them at any moment! The flames are dangerous and the toxic plumes of smoke _even more so._

_But…_

He feels the heat penetrating through his suit, beads of sweat condensing on his exposed neck. He feels the guilt gnaw him raw, _what-ifs_ passing through his mind and he couldn’t resist looking back into the showcase hall.

(Tadashi has always been too kind for his own good. He wasn’t perfect, but he definitely was selfless. Hiro had repeatedly nagged him that he shouldn’t always put others' needs first; someone’s gonna take advantage of that, you know and Aunt Cass laughs and says that being selfish once a while doesn’t make you a bad person but commends him for being such a sweetheart, a true gentleman! Unlike a certain rascal over here—)

_Would running away be considered selfish? Instead of trying to save his teacher, his idol, his mentor’s life, would escaping far away with his baby brother in tow make him a bad person?_

_No. It doesn't._

He made up his mind.

“Callaghan’s in there,” Tadashi said, his voice surprisingly slow and steady, if not dripping with restrained desperation, slightly breathy. Hiro took a quick glance into the flames, loosening his death grip just a bit, but enough for Tadashi to tug off.

“Someone has to help.”

Tadashi turned back and quickly took off towards the burning showcase hall, leaving Hiro to watch as Tadashi jumps two, three steps at a time, his figure then disappearing behind the thick, swirling inferno.

* * *

_For someone who’s always rambling on and on about safety, he’s such a fucking hypocrite!  
_

Left behind, can only look around if anyone, _anybody_ was going to stop his stupid, reckless, _idiot_ brother. As his panic escalates, Hiro’s genius brain began working overtime, effortlessly calculating grim possibilities, hopeless solutions and horrible, _horrible_ conclusions.

_Tadashi’s gonna die._

_(“Don’t leave…” Hiro sobbed out, the tears now free-falling down his chubby face. His hand began furiously rubbing his shuttered eyes. “Don’t g-go… Like Kaa-san and Tou-san… Don’t leave m-me—“ he chokes on a sob, and then broke down in earnest._

_Tadashi feels the wave of sadness overcome him once again, a phantom pain coming undone, enveloping him a stifling cocoon, weaved from sorrow, helplessness, and heartache. He feels it constricting around his chest, his throat, his heart; suffocating him. He feels an all-too familiar pinprick of tears in the edge of his eyes, but he swallows back a sob to kneel down and embrace his brother, whose tiny arms immediately wrapped around him in return. He feels his brother’s tears stain through his shirt, muffled wails and occasional hiccups rattling what little restraint he has from crying along with his baby brother._

_“I’ll never leave you, Hiro,” Tadashi chocked out, tightening his hug as he feels his own tears leak through his closed eyes._

_Hiro snivelled once, twice; his wide, bloodshot eyes staring into Tadashi’s glassy ones, before raising his right arm, his tiny, tiny pinky raised whilst the others curled in on itself into a shaky fist._

_“Promise?”_

_Tadashi smiled, weary and nowhere near as bright as it should be, but it was the first in many, many days._

_“I promise.”)_

Hiro picks up his brother’s fallen cap, holding it over his chest.

_Doesn’t matter if he promised or not._

He stared back at the blazing building once again and feels the beginning of a dizzy spell, a concoction of the extreme heat and his irregular and hurried breaths; his heart pounding in his chest at too-many beats per second, a staccato of an all-consuming dread and nerve-wrecking anxiousness.

_You let him go._

Hiro inhales sharply; the fresh night air was now heated, reeking with whiffs of foul smoke. His eyes were starting to water from the close proximity to the flames (and fear?) but he willed them away, steeling his resolve. He took a hesitant step forward, slowly breaking into a mad dash straight into the inferno _._

* * *

The world was engulfed in flames.

Everywhere he looked, the blaze’s touch have torched and decimated in an outbreak of blinding orange and yellow and heat. The showcase hall, filled just minutes ago with wide-eyed spectators, bright minds and months upon months of hard work and realized dreams, now looked too much like the depictions of hell he’s seen aired on TV, printed into books.

“Tadashi!”

He was aware on how his calls were being droned out by the constant crackling and roaring of the flames. He can feel the smoke slowly suffocating him, his throat is too dry and too hoarse _and it hurts_ so _much._

"Tadashi! Where are—" Hiro called out once again before a rather violent coughing fit stopped him; he could feel the coolness of his tears trickling down his face and he can’t breathe he _has_ to get out of here _but where the hell is Tadashi!_

A loud crack, then a crash. Then a scream.

Somewhere in his right, a loud, pained, _familiar_ scream.

Brief elation—his brother is _alive,_ somewhere—was quickly replaced with strangling despair. That might just be the last thing he’ll hear from his brother; a heart-stopping scream of agony and hurt.

It was all a blur after that, his legs running towards the source of the noise, breathing in smoke and coughing, breathing in some more and choking. He feels the fire lick pass his hoodie, through his clothes, into his skin and he ignores it the way he overrides the urge to run away, the way he ignores (tries to, at least) the horrible images of his brother, burned and mangled, his strong, kind, dependable brother trapped under a burning rubble, completely at the mercy of the ruthless flames.

Only that they weren’t just unwanted spectral images generated from Hiro's oxygen-depraved mind. Not anymore.

Hiro’s frantic run and scattered, morbid thoughts came to an abrupt halt the moment he spotted Tadashi. He felt his heart stop beating, breathe paused mid-inhale, the pain dulled to oblivion as he tried to rationalize what should _not_ be happening _none of this makes any sense…_

Another loud, pained, _familiar_ scream brought him back from his reverie, and Hiro swears he has never felt pain quite like this before.

Trapped under a pile of heavy, smoldering wooden beams is his strong, kind, dependable brother.

_You let Tadashi die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY i haven't posted a fic in /years/ and frankly, im nervous haha aha ha (and I might have overdone it with the italics) This is supposed be much longer but i can't seem to figure out how to continue this BUT posting it now should motivate me to continue (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ ANYWAYS, constructive criticism is very much appreciated!! Please feel free to talk to me on twitter (kanekihaise) or tumblr (natsu-yume). Thanks for reading! Until next time!!
> 
> Title is from the song Holding On and Letting Go by Ross Copperman.


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